letter to the editor: BB style

Dear Belly Button (bb for short),

You are now flat on my stomach. How did this happen? I have been bragging about you for 9 months, and I look down last night....flatness! I mean, really? I've got 2 weeks left and you decide to go ahead and shift on me. And don't get me started on my skanky belly button piercing hole. That thing looks weird, too! And yes, I had my button pierced. TWICE! Beat that! So that hole is stuck with me forever. But you, BB, you have let me down. And I'm not sure which is worse...Having an outie or stuck in limbo with his middle-ie flatness? Make up your mind! Will you go back in after this child is born? Will my body ever be the same? I guess that definitely is the bigger question here.

Other ways my body is turning on me:

-my ankles are a slight cankle these days

-my toes look rounder and reminiscent of little sausages

my lung capacity has left the building

-my butt! we won't even go into the size of that thing

-this round, chubby face. you've seen the pictures. don't even try to deny it

-The general downward direction everything is has slightly shifted....I won't elaborate any further

So to you, belly button, thanks for sticking it out with me. Get it, stick it OUT? I am funny!

Shape up, body! We've got a long life together...and it is far too early for the nips and tucks I have planned for our future!

Love,

Kristin (and Hudson)

disclaimer: this is a total joke. Hudson is totally worth all this, but I really do find it ironic that that BB takes a turn on the last 2 weeks of this process. He is worth all this body changing!

And no, I am not only slightly vain